Political trials are generally hit or miss. The Nuremberg trials after WWII seemed to work out pretty well. Himmler and Goebbels were revealed not to be the fun loving aesthetes of popular opinion, kind to children and generous with the Manischewitz. No, for the first time ever it was revealed to the world that perhaps Nazis aren't such good guys after all.
The Hussein trial, clearly initiated with the same "generous victor" ideal, is less effective. On the stand, the 68-year-old unemployed ex-dictator seems more like a crotchety grandpa than a ruthless murderer. Sure he's prone to violent outbursts, but so is my grandpa. Whether he's complaining about having to walk up two flights of stairs or invecting against holding the Quran while handcuffed, Hussein looks like a big surly Sunni teddy bear.
I worry that his nationalism is more convincing now that he's a harmless convict, calling out for liberty like Jean Valjean, without the whole "wrongfully imprisoned" thing. When there isn't an AK-47 in his hands he reminds me of your usual brand of irritable college professor. Not any of my current college professors of course.
The trial centers over a specific instance of mass murder, an instance which is not likely to be pinned definitively onto any one person. The judicial process promises to be slipperier than a greased hog on Camp David Hog-Tying day. Basically, it's free press for the former dictator-murderer (a double major) who may have killed countless numbers of his people, but at least was never photographed in a cowboy hat.
That is why I think this trial should be conducted as honestly and unambiguously as possible. I propose that we replace the head prosecutor with none other than Ronald McDonald.
 Julian Arenzon |
Because really, this trial only marks the transition from the outright cruelty of a fascist regime to the ambiguous cruelty of a capitalistic regime, one where people are garroted with red tape and not garrotes. Garrotes are so old-fashioned.
But not even the most bleeding-heart oppositionist would deny that this transition is a step up, evolutionarily. A free Iraq emerging from the ooze of the un-free Iraq, however, would certainly not be according to any Intelligent Design. As George Bush and Ronald McDonald can attest to, the design in the Middle East has been very, very stupid.
At the very least this democratic trial gives a sad old sot a public voice, even if that voice is in opposition to democracy itself. But until any moral or political strides are made, the trial is just another bit of entertainment. Tune in tonight and every night for The Iraq Show, the show that will most likely never ever end.
